by Kelsey Castañon
May 25th, 2017
“National Wine Day is right up there with If Dogs Had Thumbs Day and May The Fourth Be With You Day on the list of ‘world’s most ridiculous holidays.’ You certainly don’t need an excuse to gorge on three glasses of Zinfandel after work — just like should never have to explain why you spent five hours binging Star Wars DVDs — but that doesn’t mean the occasion isn’t worth celebrating. So, in the event that you are, in fact, popping a bottle tonight, I want to let you in on a little secret.
First, the facts: Red wine is a ruthless offender in the stain department, turning everything it touches — the plush rug in your living room, your favorite T-shirt, your tongue, teeth, and lips — a bright crimson color. (Or worse, a dirty raisin.) I am especially privy to this universal truth, considering that my fruit intake most days involves nothing more than the harvested grapes I rescued from a glass of merlot. Suffice to say, the impending “merlot mouth” has become my form of purple lipstick. That is, until I met Wine Wipes.
For the sake of sounding dramatic, I will refrain from telling you that these palm-sized, pre-soaked cloth sheets saved my life. (But they have saved me from a lot of awkward moments.) The wipes are all-natural — made only with baking soda, salt, and food-grade hydrogen peroxide — and gently whisk away the red residue on your teeth, mouth, and gums. Even better: they’re small enough to tuck in your pocket and discreet enough to use them under the table with no one noticing.
Oh, and they don’t make your next glass of wine taste like shit after you use one. (A huge deal for someone who chugs the nice stuff.) In fact, the people behind the product really thought of everything, working with sommeliers to create a subtle scent for the sheets to ensure they don’t fuck with the other rich flavors in your vino.
And when the company told me it’d be celebrating its 10-year anniversary of stain-free teeth, I thought, now there’s a celebration I can get behind. Cheers.”
Wine Wipes Compact, $9.95 for 20 wipes, available at Wine Wipes.